THE REMARKS: July 2014

Here you are. Reading the crazy, insightful ramblings of our life. So who are we anyways? Rob, Amber and Louis. We’re the Remarks. A couple of lovers, parents, just trying to make it through this thing called life together, while taking some time to enjoy the ride. I’m a teacher, and Rob is an architect (… well, working towards being one). We laugh more than I thought possible, and life feels like one constant adventure. So jump on our train for a while, and ride along with us. Maybe you’ll learn a thing or two, maybe you’ll laugh, or maybe you’ll shed a few tears. Whatever it is, I hope you feel somehow connected to the Remarks.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Sigh...

The teacher in me anal-ness has struck again! I'm not sure how many times in my life I have spent hours upon hours redoing something simply over the fact that I didn't like how it looked. In my classroom I redo everything if it doesn't look uniform and flow well. I can't copy and past items into worksheets, because I have to re-create them to make sure they look nice and neat. It's just a part of who I am, and I have come to realize over the years that, no matter how much time it takes to redo something, it will always make me feel better in the end. And although there are times where I wish I wasn't like this, I know that there are definitely good things that come out of it!

With that being said, today that quality got the best of me. Amongst the boxes that need to be packed, the grad school work that is waiting to be touched, the laundry that could be folded, and so many other things I decided I hated my Tumblr blog because you couldn't customize the look. And who wants to be stuck with the 5 provided, ugly themes they give you for the rest of your life. Apparently not this girl. So... I thought about it, I tried to talk myself out of it, I told myself it didn't matter and it isn't important, and nobody reads it anyways... but none of those reasons seemed to be reason enough for me not to switch blog platforms to one where I could control the look of my blog.

So I did. And in doing that, I wanted to take all the blog posts I have written since Rob and I got married since this blog is, after-all, a compilation of our married-life experiences. And that's what I did. I copied and pasted. And copied and pasted. And re-uploaded photos. And copied and pasted. And 3 hours later, all my Tumblr blog posts were successfully transferred to Blogger and to our new, and (in my humble opinion) very improved blog.

{sigh} I know there are so many better ways I could have used my time today, but I finally have a blog I am excited about the look and potential of, so that counts for something, right?

A Whole Lot Of Love.

As we prepare for yet another weekend full of wedding festivities, I began thinking this morning about all the wedding experiences that Rob and I have had the opportunity to share. Being the girl who loves all things romantic, I couldn’t be happier that our life has been packed with vows and promises of couples in love.

A look back over the years:

1. Nick and Alexa- 2009

2. Greg and Katie- 2009

3. Catherine and Bobby- 2009

4. Matt and Cassie- 2010

5. Rachael and Tyler- 2010

6. Katie and Alex- 2010

7. Erik and Hayley- 2011

8. Mallory and Brady- 2011

9. Amanda and Steve- 2011

10. Kristin and Derrick- 2012

11. Amber and Rob- 2013

12. Michael and Alison- 2013

13. Alex and Shelly- 2013

14. Lisa and Dustin- 2013

15. Eda and Chad- 2013

16. Ben and Alexa- 2013

17. Brian and Susan- 2013

18. Brady and Jen- 2014

19. Ryan and Christie- 2014

20. Morgan and Erik- 2014

21. Nate and Naomi- 2014

That’s a whole lot of love.

I must say we’ve had a pretty great beginning.

Trudging Through a Season

We’ve been walking through a weird, rough season of our life here at the Remark household. So many huge changes and transitions are taking place as we prepare to leave this place we have called home for the first year of our marriage, our first purchase together, our first remodel projects, design projects, the place we came home to first as husband and wife. We’re preparing to leave our families and our friends and the places and people we know and love to open another chapter of our lives. It’s exciting, and it’s downright hard.

Amidst the decision making and processing of this move, life threw us another curve ball (isn’t that how it usually goes?). My Grandpa, who I grew up with, was diagnosed with cancer. The kind that doesn’t give you much time to get your life in order, the time that doesn’t allow you to experience your lasts to the fullest, the kind that strangles the life right out of you until the very end. And I thought it was downright hard to move. That was until I sat holding the hand of a man whose life was slipping away from him. Maybe there isn’t even a word that describes that emotion.

And as I spent the last few weeks of Grandpa’s life by his side, so many things entered my mind about what made him such a different, special man. Out of that thinking came this desire to write down what I hold so near and dear about the man I was lucky to call my grandpa.

What is a legacy?

A legacy is something you leave on this earth long after your soul leaves your body. A legacy is something the ones near and dear to you hold onto when they can no longer hold onto your hand, when they can no longer hear your laughter, when they can no longer see the proud sparkle in your eyes as they walk into the room.

Leaving a legacy is leaving a little bit of you for us to enjoy when you’ve left this earth and gone to be in the presence of the angels.

It is impossible to walk this earth with such love, dedication and passion as grandpa has and to not leave a legacy so great that it will live on long after his last breath has been breathed.

Leaving a legacy doesn’t mean leaving money, it doesn’t mean leaving possessions, it doesn’t even mean leaving accolades. No, leaving a legacy is far more than that. Leaving a legacy is leaving your wife of 57 years with fond memories of love. It’s leaving 5 children who will sit by your side until the very end not out of obligation but because they want to squeeze every moment of love out of you. Leaving a legacy means leaving tears in the eyes of loved ones because they know that life on this earth will be just a little duller without your presence.

It’s proudly providing, deeply loving, faithfully serving, generously giving, tirelessly working all in the name of love.

A legacy is something you leave in the hearts of your children, and their children and their children for generations to come. It’s the fond memories and wonderful stories that come only because you did the very best you could to love your family unselfishly, unfailingly, and persistently until the very end.

Talk to his wife, or his kids, or his grandkids, and it won’t take you long to discover this man has left a legacy.

He has left a legacy by choosing to love. By pointing them to Jesus. By carrying burdens. By fixing skinned knees. By healing broken hearts.

As I reflected on Wednesday evening about what made Grandpa so special, about what made him a man that was so iconic and going to be so immensely missed, I thought of many, many things. Stories that could be shared for days. Stories that would make us laugh, and cry, and yes- even cringe. Stories of a man who spent his whole life putting it all out there for those he loved. But amongst those memories I boiled it down to these 5 words. Grandpa did everything in life with passion, pride, commitment, dedication and love.

Whether it was singing in the church choir, serving on the city council, running his own business, raising his children, or loving his wife he did it with passion, pride, commitment, dedication and love. For as far back as I can remember, I have witnessed, time and time again, a man who showed up every day of his life exuding passion, pride, commitment, dedication and love.

Bring the smallest task to Grandpa, and you could be certain he would get it done above and beyond what you asked of him because of his passion, pride, commitment, dedication and love.

Come to him with a heavy heart, a burden, or a problem and he would fix it because of his passion, pride, commitment, dedication and love.

Come to grandpa and he would share his stories, his chair, his iced tea, his wafer cookies, his juice jugs, his Pink Cow recipe, his wisdom, his advice (sometimes unsought) but most importantly his passion, pride, commitment, dedication and love.

What is a legacy?

A legacy is when a man lives his life demonstrating these values so greatly that they become a part of each of his family members. A legacy is passing on your passion, pride, commitment, dedication and love.

You’ve done well, grandpa. Thank you for the very best kind of legacy.

So we will continue to walk through this season of life, resting assured that we are exactly where God wants us at this moment and that no matter where life takes us we will walk hand-in-hand looking ahead with anticipation of what is to come!

Check.

I have once again been blessed by the beauty of nature, and lovers and friends all wrapped into an amazing vacation.

Each time I travel I find myself in moments of awe so great that I have to catch my breath and pinch myself just to make sure I’m not dreaming. The most recent trip Rob and I embarked on was no different. We witnessed the beauty of mountains, and oceans and air so fresh it smelled like clean laundry everywhere you walked. I was thrown into culture shock witnessing multiple people literally eating out of garbage cans, and nature shock by seeing an incredibly large mountain peak it’s heads out of the clouds just in time for us to see the fullness of its splendor.

Another vacation that had me snapping the shutter of my camera more times than I could count yet still failing to capture the beauty that lie in front of me- sometimes you must see with your own eye to really appreciate a place.

And that was just the beginning of what made this trip so amazing. It was the late, late night hangouts, and laughing so hard my stomach hurt, and road trips turned snowball fights and spending moments with really really great friends that made it truly the trip of a lifetime.

So we checked another destination, actually two destinations, off our list of travel hopes and dreams and we made memories that will have us smiling for years to come.

What a beautiful and great life we live.

Passionate

Writing is a love of mine. At least that is what I have always believed. It’s a way to sit down and really hash out the emotions of my heart. The ones I sometimes didn’t even know I had until my fingers hit the keyboard and my brain starts reeling. For some people it’s talking, for some it’s singing, and for others it’s going for a long walk or run. For me, writing has always been a way for me to look inside of myself and see what is going on in there.

Since grad school began, all my creative writing energy has been poured into it. Between discussion boards, research papers and article summaries, my brain has been forced to produce scholarly writing for the sake of a grade. And let me tell you, when you spend an hour or two a day writing papers, the last thing you feel like doing is sitting down at your computer to write even more.

This is what has happened to my blogging. I have simply let it fall to the wayside because, at the end of the day, my supply of creative energy is completely empty and I don’t feel like I have a drop left to pour out into writing that is not required.

It was’t until today, after reading some blogs, that I realized how much I have been missing being able to sit down and just write whatever is on my heart. It is, after-all, my free form of therapy. Right next to praying and reading the bible.

So I’m back. Maybe just for today, when my heart is stirring with the desire. Or maybe for the next few months as I hash out some major life decisions. But whatever the case may be- this hiatus has been a blessing in disguise, because it has opened my eyes to the reality that I have a passion for writing, one that cannot be fulfilled by typing research papers, or take-home notes to parents. And I don’t plan to ever let that fire burn out.

What passion lies inside of you that you have been failing to kindle the fire of? Whatever it may be, take a hold of it and- if even for a day- allow yourself to revel in the joy that it brings your heart.

Thank Y.O.U.

The gift of friends. I find it incredible that God places the exact right people at the exact right time in our lives. And how cool is it that He has a master-plan blueprint of our lives and is orchestrating them in such a way that we are given just what we need, when we need it?

If I had to use one hashtag for the rest of my life, or define my life with a single hashtag it would be #blessed. We have been so blessed in our life in several ways {see previous posts for an explanation of these blessings}

One of the things Rob and I have been blessed with is incredibly great friendships. Friendships which I believe many people in this world do not ever get to experience. We have so many great people in our lives. We have a variety of personalities, a variety of talents, and a variety of minds which press ours to new levels. We never have to question if we have support, or love, or care because the evidence surrounds us continually. We have friends that are near and far, friends whom we talk to daily, and friends whom we do not get the chance to talk to as much- but the bottom line is they are all in our lives for a very specific purpose and likewise, us in theirs. As you grow older, you realize that ‘play-dates’, and ‘best friends forever’, and ‘lifelong friends' go from being a given in your life, a staple of your everyday in and out, to a deep and abundant blessing. One which must be nurtured and cared for, and not taken for granted. A critical, but easily neglected, role in our grown-up lives.

Our wedding day was a beautiful example of the many, many friendships our life has been privileged with. We had 17 people standing next to us, not because we wanted a ridiculously large wedding, but because we had 17 people we genuinely felt had defined us and our lives in such a way that it brought our relationship to the alter, and would help our marriage grow throughout the years. And sitting in that room with us were literally hundreds of friends who came to support our marriage. People who drove and flew and made time for us because they cared about us. And since our wedding day, we have experienced day after day after fun-filled day with people whom I wouldn’t want to, nor could ever do life without.

Most days I want to sit down and personally write a cheesy ‘thank-you’ to each of those people who have done life with us, I want to tell them what joy they have brought to our lives, I want to give them a glimpse of just how much we treasure them, and show them how they have impacted our lives in a variety and multitude of ways.

The conversations, the challenges, the thoughts, the prayers, the laughter, the advice, the joy our hearts have felt because of so many experiences with people we get to call friends. It’s incredible. And time after time it leaves me thankful that God has chosen to strategically place so many wonderful souls in our life, to help us on this journey. A journey we were not created to do alone, a journey that He knows will require the ongoing gift of companionship, love and friendship.

That Laugh

This laugh. I cannot explain how happy it makes me. And even if I tried, words wouldn’t suffice.

“You may never have proof of your importance but you are more important than you think. There are always those who couldn’t do without you. The catch is that you don’t always know who that might be.” -Robert Fulghum

To my husband: Remember this quote today… You are loved and needed by so many people. Most of all by those who may never express to you just how important you are in their lives. It’s kind of neat to think that we may go our whole lives never knowing the impact we had on people, never knowing who we may have had impact on. I love you so much. But I am not the only one who loves you. Your joy and zest for life shine in the places you will never know that they do. I often tell people, but I don’t tell you enough, that one of my most favorite characteristics about you is that you light up a room. You walk into a room, and the people in the room fill with smiles and laughter and joy, you do that to people. And every time I witness it, it fills my heart with an abundance of joy far beyond what I can tell you.

I hope you never forget that.

Tell someone in your life today, exactly what they mean to you. Even if your words don’t suffice, the attempt will mean the world to them.

2.0.1.3

What. A. Year. What a wonderful, whirlwind of a year 2013 was.

Ten things I learned, re-learned or was reassured of in 2013:

#1: I have incredible, amazing, supportive parents. My parents rock. They are a solid foundation, they are a great example, and they are the most giving and generous human beings you will meet. I was reminded over and over again this year, after the purchase of a home and the planning of a wedding, just how generous and amazing they truly are. Rob and I feel blessed to have their never-ending love and support. Their generosity continually left us in awe, from the first day of 2013, to the very last, they never failed to be abundantly generous, supportive and loving.

#2: My brother is more wonderful than I let myself believe for the first 22 years of my life. See #1 and the people he was raised by, and you will understand where he gets his generosity from. More so than that, he is a genuinely cool person. He is insanely caring and loving. And passionate beyond belief. He is dedicated and successful, and I truly admire and look up to the person he is. Who would have thought that I’d be saying that 18 years ago?

#3: God always, always provides when you need him to. During the challenges of life this year, whether in sorrow, in trial, or in financial questioning, He continually showed up in the exact moment and time He was needed most. A check would come. A heart would be softened. Pain would ease up. And over and over again, His love would shine through.

#4: Being a homeowner is fun, and being a home owner is HARD. Painting and decorating and making this house a home has been fun. It has also been challenging and frustrating and hard. When you finally think you have everything figured out, something breaks. There are continual projects, and it never feels done. And so begins the phase of life called adulthood, where people talk about the never ending to-do list of home improvements.

#5: Spending life with someone, the in and out, everyday grind we call life, is so much better than I could have anticipated. Living and doing life with your best friend is just plain fun. Dancing in the living room, being goofy in the morning while getting ready, sharing breakfast together before parting for the day, laughing non-stop, constantly hearing ‘I love you’ and ‘you’re beautiful’, sharing in the big decisions and in the small decisions. Every aspect of getting to do life with another person is incredibly rewarding. Which leads me to

#6: I married the funniest, happiest, most loving person I could have possibly married. I am thoroughly convinced that life at our house is far funnier and happier and full of love than at a lot of other households in this world- and that’s not something I take for granted. I don’t go a day, or even an hour, with him without laughing. It’s incredible to see how he lights up a room when he walks into it, and how he leaves smiles on the faces of so many people. There is so much I can learn from this man I call my husband, and I think that’s the greatest gift I’ve received yet.

#7: If you worry about money, life is going to be a lot less fun. I only know because I’ve tried. A lot. If I could graph out and display all the thoughts that pass through my mind in a day, I’m fairly certain the bar for “money” would trump any other bar on that graph. But, I have also discovered that constantly worrying about money does not change your income, or your expenses, or what you have in your savings account. It only makes life a lot less enjoyable. So I’m determined that I’m going to try not to let the thought of money enter an exit my mind so many times in a day.

#8: Somebody always has it worse, and somebody always has it better. Not many people will ever reach a point in their life when they are the worst off, or the best off. Yet we will always have an inclination in our bodies to compare ourselves to couple A, B and C who have a nicer home, more money, and more opportunities. Someone will always pop up on your newsfeed who is traveling to a place you only dreamed of traveling to, or who bought a house you could never afford to live in. Whether your best friends, your peers, or somebody you’ve never met- if you let yourself begin the comparison game- you will never win.

#9: Good conversations with great friends always make your life better. There have been several times over the course of this year where all it has taken to turn my spirits around and leave me feeling blessed is a seat across the table from a really good friend and hours of conversation about nothing and everything all at once. These are the same conversations that frequently inspire me.

#10: Nothing is better than a photograph that captures and stills the emotions and feelings of a moment.

As I enter the season of 2014, and the uncertainty and joy and excitement it is sure to bring, I look forward to continue discovering all the beauty that life has to offer if you just take the time to stop and look around.

And the only resolution I have this year is to resolve to do the things I love with the people I love, and enjoy each and every moment of them continually thanking God for the blessings.

Christmas Blessings

Another year of sharing Christmas cheer together, and another year of countless Christmas blessings. This year was lacking no amount of blessings for the two of us. We were showered with love, surrounded by family, and we got to enjoy our very first Christmas as a married couple.

In two short days we hopped back and forth between Christmases, and got to enjoy the company of many family members. Being from and living in the same town makes Christmas busy- but so full of joy as you get to experience it with all the people you love.

Rob even had a stocking at Mom and Dad’s house this year, and Santa filled each of them!

I hope Christmas left you feeling as full of joy as it left our family this year.

Christmas break has already left me feeling refreshed and enjoying the small things in life like sleeping in, staying in my pajamas all day long, sipping fresh coffee at 3 pm, and checking out a book from the library. In no attempt to rush these days, I’m looking forward to ringing in a New Year and a new set of blessings.

Oh Baby!

The word baby hangs thick in the air this time of year. Not because of people having children, but rather because the greatest gift ever given was in the form of a little baby. A king, a savior… a baby.

It seems funny, even after all these years of hearing the Christmas story, that the world’s greatest gift was sent in the form of a small, helpless babe. Yet, when we reflect on the Christmas story, we can see- so easily- why God chose to send the savior of the world in the form of a small bundle, lying in hay, in the middle of a smelly manger. Mary and Joseph did not have a freshly painted nursery, with the newest and best gadgets that would surely help them to raise this boy. The didn’t have baby monitors, or pre-made swaddles, or organic baby food. But they had faith. And through their faith was born our hope. A hope for a world full of joy, and peace and love. A hope for our redemption and salvation and grace. All in the form of a baby.

A child. Sweet, innocent, and curious. Full of life, and giggles, and smiles. A child. And upon this reflection of the birth of our savior, I realized that there is so much we can learn from those little hands, and little feet in our lives.

Children…

Aren’t afraid to ask why. They are curious about the world around them, and they aren’t afraid to ask about it. In doing so, their brains are constantly being flooded with new wealths of knowledge.

Love unconditionally. They look at your through rose-colored glasses which only see love. They admire you for the simple things- like cutting up their pizza, or carefully cleaning out a wound.

Look at the world with a sense of wonder. A butterfly emerging from a cocoon. Water trickling down a stream. A spider spinning a web. Grassy hills to roll down. Children find awe in every corner of their lives. They see the beauty and wonder of this world in every blade of grass, and every icicle.

Take their time. When we aren’t rushing them to the next order of business, they like to use every waking minute of their day slowly discovering the joys which that day has to offer. They don’t rush through life missing the small-but incredibly important things.

Trust and Admire. Children don’t question your motives, or wonder if you might be pulling a fast one on them. They are born with an innate sense of faith. They believe what you tell them, until the world shows them they can’t.

Forgive. Have you ever seen two little children fight? One might yank a toy from another’s hand, scream, cry and then hug the person all within a minute. Their hearts are forgiving in every sense of the word. And not only do they forgive, but they forget. Children show ultimate grace.

Don’t see differences. They don’t care if their playmate is a boy or a girl. Short or tall. Fat or skinny. Black or white or red. They don’t care if their playmate can’t talk, or hear, or see. They’re just happy to have someone to sit next to and enjoy life with.

We can teach children so much. We show them how to read, and write. How to share, and how to tie their shoes. We show them how to apologize, and use their manners. But the most beautiful thing about a child is that the harshness of the world has not yet untaught them the most important aspects of life. They hold within them something that cannot be taught. A wonder, an innocence, a peace- It’s no wonder at all why God sent the gift of His son to us in the form of a small baby.

Abundantly Blessed

Yesterday marked 6 months of marriage for Rob and I. I feel like we just finished looking at wedding photos and moving out of wedding mode, these six months have flown by. I have come to the conclusion that time just keeps speeding up as we continue to grow older. In the 1/2 of a year that we have been married, we have embarked on many adventures, learned so much about each other, and genuinely enjoyed marriage in a way far beyond what I thought possible. Although it has only been 6 months, it has been packed with joy beyond expectation, and I am looking forward to many more to come.

The wedding was followed by…