Dear Louis, 60 Days.

Two months of full hearts and pure joy.

Dear Louis Robert,

               

You are two months old. We have spent 60 days getting to know your every in and out. 60 days of smiles and tears, joy and frustration, 60 days of pure love. Even now, I look at pictures from that perfect Thursday morning when the world was still asleep and Dad and I welcomed you into this world, and I long to relive that moment over and over again. The doctor set you on Mommy’s chest, and you just stared up at me with those huge eyes. You just took in the world. No tears, no crying, just wide-eyes staring into Mommy’s. The moment you made me a Mom, and my world would never be the same. And ever since, you have been looking up at me with those same wide eyes. Asking for food, asking for a clean diaper, asking for a nap, asking for cuddles, longing to be loved. And that’s exactly what I plan to spend my life doing- loving you.

               

Right now loving you is so easy. You are cuddly, smiley, and full of joy. You are not yet influenced by the world, and your every need is met by Mom and Dad. We can hold you, protect you and calm your tears. But someday I know that loving you may become more of a challenge. Those days you decide to break the rules, ignore our requests, make messes, talk back. The days when no amount of rocking will calm your tears or erase your fears. Those days you are less than perfect. And in those moments I hope to remember that perfect Thursday morning, when all the world was asleep and the unconditional love that flooded my heart, and I vow to guide you, teach you, love you and hold you through it all.

                

You are my baby. In this crazy, chaotic world it is always you who stops time while I take in your tiny features. It is always you who reminds me that my most important job in life is to love you, care for you, and raise you well. I will make mistakes. Oh will I make so many mistakes. But I promise to wake up each day with renewed joy, energy and strength knowing that God gave me you. Together we will learn, grow, discover and change. Together we will be a family and for that I am forever grateful.

                

Another month of loving you, each day I dream of your future, yet long for the past, and live in the moment soaking you in. Each day I observe you, in awe of just how fast you are growing. And in the blink of an eye you will be yet another month older, and another milestone wiser. So for now I will cherish each of our days together, holding you, loving you, and being your Mom.

I love you always,
Your Mom

Your Mom

Dear Louis...

This man has been blessing our lives for 3 whole weeks today. I can't believe it, yet I somehow  know I will spend the rest of my life uttering those same words.

Dear Louis,

    I could have never imagined what it would be like to be your Mom. There are simply no words sufficient for the emotions you experience when you receive that title. The amount of pure joy, and love, and pride is overwhelming. To me, you are perfect in every way. As I care for your needs, I breathe in the sweet smell of your skin and observe every feature that makes up your tiny body. Each fold of the skin, each tiny fingernail, a reminder of the miracle you are. I watch you sleep so peacefully, often checking to ensure that your chest is still, in fact, moving up and down. With each breath you take I am consumed with unexplainable love and graciousness for such a perfect gift.

We've only know each other for a short time, yet you are the biggest part of me and I know that forever you will be my baby, and I your Mom, what a feeling that is. I whisper the words "I love you" into your ears often, hoping that you will never question if you are loved, cared for, admired. I whisper the words "God loves you" into your ears, and long that you would understand the truth of that statement for your whole life. 

We thought we had everything, until we had you. Now life has begun in a whole new sense of the word. With every cry, with every smile, with every grasp of your hand, our hearts know the deepening love that is parenthood, and we know we are so blessed. 

Three weeks, they have flown by, yet somehow it is already hard to imagine life before you. Before we were Mom and Dad. Before our evenings consisted of caring for your needs, and staring at your perfection. It is hard to imagine our family of three being anything but that. With each passing day we learn your idiosyncrasies. The way you grunt when you're hungry. Your dislike for swaddles, and your persistence in getting your arms free. Those wrinkles in your forehead that show up with each facial expression you discover. How you sleep with your hands on your face, and- to our dismay- are so comforted by that pacifier. The way you love to bounce, and swing and stare at the world around you with intent and curiosity. 

You are life before blemish, before fault, before stain of this world has reared its ugly head. You cry out in hunger and you trust that we will come, because trust is all you know. You whimper in discomfort of a wet, dirty diaper understanding that Mom and Dad will make it better. You melt into our arms when we hold you, a safe place of rest. And I pray that our arms will never fail to be a safe place of rest for your head, for your heart. 

Each passing day with you is a blessing, yet a bittersweet reminder of just how fast time truly flies. So I try to soak in every moment, holding you, rocking you, loving you- our greatest gift. 

I love you always,

    Your Mom

Nesting- Part 1.

January 19th. 31 weeks today. We have reached the single-numbered weeks until Baby Remark makes his or her arrival in this world. Although pregnancy has been a wild ride of emotions I wouldn't trade it for anything. Awaiting the arrival of your bundle of joy is unlike any other wait. The emotions are raw and real, terrifying yet full of joyful anticipation. Your body is growing, and along side it your heart, falling in love with a person you have yet to meet.

Becoming parents has already taught us so much, and I cannot wait to finally hold our little nugget in my arms. Until then, however, I will keep myself preoccupied 'preparing the nest.'

The latest project: a bunting banner for behind baby's crib and a bunting banner to use for monthly photos of Baby Remark. 

Keep an eye out for baby's completed nursery in the coming weeks...